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Containers Won't Fix Your Code:
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Abstract
In today’s cybersecurity world, it seems like everyone is chasing the next shiny object—whether it's the latest AI-driven defense tool or the newest, most complicated security gadget. Yet, despite all these fancy toys, breaches continue to rise faster than a teenager’s TikTok following. What gives? Have we lost our way? This talk will take you on a journey through the history of IT, from the days when Sys Admins were the unsung heroes of the server room to today, where cybersecurity professionals juggle acronyms like WAF, EDR, and AI as if they were in a circus. Along the way, we’ll discover that the secret to stopping breaches isn’t found in the latest buzzword-laden product but in good old-fashioned basics. And yes, we’ll reminisce about “The Cuckoo’s Egg” while asking why anyone today would think a container is the magic bullet for insecure code. Spoiler alert: it’s not. By the end, you'll be ready to throw away the smoke and mirrors and focus on what really matters—the foundational practices that keep our digital world spinning. Speaker Bio: Based in Chicago and a natural creature of winter, you can typically find me sipping Grand Mayan Extra Anejo whilst simultaneously defending my systems using OSS, magic spells and Dancing Flamingos. Honeypots & Refrigerators are a few of my favorite things! Fun Fact: I rescue Feral Pop Tarts and have the only Pop Tart Sanctuary in the Chicago area. |
